My life as a teenager

My life is like a movie. And you know I don't feel like acting, and thats when reality kicks in. I go home, and cry a whole river. People just don't know how I feel, and that's the problem. They focus on me, and call me dumb, but they don't know the story. Well the truth behind the story. My heart aches every night when I close my eyes , and think of him. I love him yall, and that will never change. But I hate him because of what he did to me. I stiill cherish ever moment that I spent with him, and wish I could go back to those times. I would've avoided every argument because in the end I need him. I know he needs me to. But, a man will be a man, and I can't change that. But, I won't tolerate the cheating because I'm worth more than that. Maybe be we are meant to be in another life. But you tell me you love but we are not together, so it's meaningless to me. I wish I could just tell the world what we been through then they could understand. But I want real love. For someone to love me unconditionally. The flaws, and all. And wont leave just because I'm a little chubby, and mean at times. But I have a good heart, and if you are that significant other in my life, I ride or die. And that's on my life. I see you with other girls, and I cry inside. But my other side tells me " to learn to let go." But my heart is like quick sand, and I can't move. I wish I never met you sometimes. I wish the day I saw you in Hirsch hallways, I would've kept it moving. But I felt a connection between the two of us. The same connection that was lost September 5, 2008 when you told me you talked to her. I wrote down everything we ever did. From the first time you kissed me, until the we first had a fake breakup. All the holidays we spent together are over, and someone else is getting all your time. The person that is reading this probably thinks he doesn' t love me, but I'm Wifey. Kno dat! but he needs his space, but I can't wait for you. I try to move on, but I can't. Ughhhhh! I'm so sick of love that I wish I didn't have any love in my heart. But you know what I will always love you without a doubt, and I can bet that maybe not in this world, but in the next one we will meet again.